Self-Confidence

So I have struggled with my self esteem my entire life.  I don't struggle with it each and every day.  Sometimes I am super confident and feel really good.  My problem is it takes that one off look or that one comment to make me come down.  I don't like being like this and it is a fight every day.  Ive been told by many people, I am too sensitive, too emotional, take things to heart.  And this is true to am those things. I recognize them and I try to keep it under control.  Sometimes though when I am constantly being told bad things about myself or constantly being treated as if my feelings don't matter then it gets to me.  And maybe i am too sensitive but that's just me.  Love me or not its me.  One the other hand I am very loyal, a good listener, sweet, kind, helpful, and a good person.  I am a good mom, daughter, sister, friend, cousin, neice.  One problem i think i have is my ability to love and care for others is so huge that i expect nothing less in return.  And people are not as capable as I am of giving back.  So I get to where I feel picked on so much that i either fight back or I let it go and don't say anything get hurt.  Well lately i have been getting hurt alot lately and letting people run all over me. Well I am tired of it and tired of feeling like people can say or do what they want to me.  Well I am not going to take it anymore.  the more i take and take and take the lower my self esteem gets.  And I do not deserve that.  I am going to start telling people to back off of me.... and if they don't like it then that is their problem but i am done with it.  I don't deserve it and i won't take it anymore.   So if people want to continue to make snarky comments to me then bring it because you are going to get as good as you get from now on.  Tonya is back.  This does not mean i am going to turn into some angry person.  It just means i am going to take crap i don't have to take from people.  I am not worthless and dumb and i will not be treated like i am worthless and dumb anymore.  I will continue to be me, kind, loving, good person, good family member, good mom, good daughter sister aunt, good friend, good employee because that is who I am.  That is me!  Not this person who is concerned about what she means to other people.  I will be me. 

Talents

Today's special...um topic is talents.  When I talk about talents I do not mean talents like what people used in the Bible for monetary value.  I mean talents as in being good at something.   I have none, at all.  I wish I could sing, paint, any art, any sewing, or stuff like that is simply out of the question.  I love to sing but can't carry a tune.  Any sort of art is not going to happen.... I am not good at it or i have no patience for it.  I cannot sew a button.  I got kicked out of band and told to find other extra curricular activities.  I love love sports but am not and never was supertalented.  I might have been good if i was not so terribly shy.  I played softball as a kid but probably wasn't that great, I don't know.  I don't think I was horrible though at least I hope not.....  I am not good at writing though I would like to be.  But they say everyone has a talent. I wish i knew mine.